I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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