You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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