My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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