eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
