It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
