she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
