before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
