I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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