Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize