i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
