I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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