I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
