Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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