Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
