lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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