I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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