At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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