She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
