im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
