Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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