2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
