the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
