btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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