i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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