Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize