It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
