Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
