I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
