there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
