I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
