He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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