I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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