I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
