I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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