I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize