I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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