we made out on top of his cat.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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