I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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