so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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