I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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