I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Houston, we have a blender
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
