I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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