It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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