do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Randomize