Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
