please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
