dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize