Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
