Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
