Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Congratulations! We have a period
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