Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
