...so i touched it.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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