it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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