the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
