i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
