I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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