I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
