My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
